Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important, particularly the loss of a person or other living being to whom there was some sort of bond. While grief can refer to anything lost in life, it is most often thought of it in terms of lost loved ones. How do you carry on in the throes of grief? What can you do to help lessen the icy grip of grief on your daily life?
This is one area where I feel I have become an expert. In the past six years I have lost seven loved ones. Five of them were quite sudden, but the other two were expected. While they aren't the only ones I've lost in my life, the past six years has felt like a weight on my chest. Grief has become an all too familiar friend of mine who I haven't been able to part with in a long time. As a card reader, it was only natural for me to seek comfort during this time from my cards, so when Stacey published Roses, Dust & Ashes I knew I had to have it, not just because I'm a taphophile, but because I needed a deck that was closely tied to death and bereavement, a deck that wouldn't shy away from mourning. Before Roses, Dust & Ashes, I used other decks like my grandma's 1977 Maverick playing cards and The Southern Gothic Oracle, but now when grief hits me I feel most drawn to use Roses, Dust & Ashes more than any other deck.
Reading every day became a balm for my soul and if you are dealing with grief on a regular basis, I highly recommend you pick up your cards, pour your grief into them, and ask them to give you something constructive you can do with that grief. For years I drew six cards every single day, three tarot and three oracle, to represent what I should do for my body, mind, and spirit each day. When that became too much I downgraded to two cards each day, one tarot and one oracle. Now, I find myself reaching for one deck and one card. For now it is enough and I feel as though I get a direct message.
When grief is plaguing you, sometimes that one card is all you need to remind yourself that grief is a natural reaction to loss, any loss, not just death. Grieve the loss of the relationship that ended, the job you didn't get, the friendship that came to an end too soon, moving away from home, or any other ending in your life. Ask yourself when you pull your card for the day, "what do I need to hear the most?" Your cards will likely oblige you with an answer that maybe you weren't prepared for, but that you needed, especially if you use a shadow deck or any deck that is well balanced.
Remember, grief is a lifelong ailment. It is something that never really leaves us once it has become friends with us. You may find some days harder than others and on those days, read through the messages you've received in the past or pull another card to help guide you through this time in your life.